Being a single mother or parent is one of the hardest things you can do in life. It’s not something anyone readily chooses. No one is sitting at home thinking “first on the agenda today – become a single parent”. That’s because trying to raise a child or children while also caring for their emotional needs and providing for them financially is difficult. In the following post, we are going to discuss a number of the most common and hardest struggles all single mothers need to deal with and how you may be able to handle them better if you’re in a similar situation.
Tiredness and Fatigue
As being a single mother involves doing what two people should be doing, you’re bound to feel physically, mentally and emotionally tired out. However, because you have dependents, your children, it’s important you don’t allow it to become too much and engulf you so you can’t function properly.
You need to find ways to chill out, refuel and charge your batteries. Whether it’s just from getting sleep and asking for help with childcare from a friend or relative, so you get a break for your bundles of joy. Perhaps take up some physical activity, as that will improve your fitness. Whatever you do, do it for you and try to get joy from it.
Feelings of Guilt
There seems to be no end to those special feelings of guilt single parents tend to feel. They can be especially hard to get rid of if you’re responsible, or feel you are, for the situation you and your kids are in right now. Whatever you’re guilty about, you need to try and work through it. If you feel guilty you have made a mistake that has led to your single parent status, take responsibility for it, learn a valuable lesson from it and live your life. Mistakes happen in life, as none of us is perfect, the better way is to deal with it rather than letting it swallow us whole.
What if it’s someone else’s fault? Well, there’s no healthy reason why you should hold onto anger, forgive and get past it. There’s no turning back or undoing things, but you need to do what is best for your kids now and in the future. Try to work on the relationship you have with your children’s other parent to reduce the friction.
The sting divorce, death and other events that can cause single parenthood, affect more than just your status. They can leave you with serious financial strains, as you’re having to deal with the load normally handled by two people. If you’re having trouble making ends meet and feel the need to take on two jobs, your children may end up resenting you.
They will appreciate you were working hard for them but will not love the fact work always took you away from them. Having a second income and job is no bad thing, but it’s the type of work you choose that matters. Do you have skills you could put to good use outside of your regular work? If you have payroll, bookkeeping or accountancy skills, for instance, you could consider being an accountant for a restaurant. This type of role won’t mean you always have to be in the office and away from kids and if you’re working freelance, there’s more leeway for you to dictate your working hours.