It’s a sad statistic that, in the United States alone, nearly 50% of all married couples will end up getting a divorce at some stage of their marriage. There are all sorts of reasons why couples decide that a divorce is the right decision, ranging from infidelity, lifestyle changes and even for publicity reasons (celebrities getting divorced after just a months or even weeks of marriage is becoming commonplace).
Are you married? Is your love on the rocks? If so, you might be thinking that divorce is the only way out of an unhappy marriage. But have you thought about working at your marriage rather than just giving up? You might surprise yourself to learn that there are actually some practical steps both of you can take to improve things. Here are a few reasons why divorce can often be a bad idea for unhappy couples.
Photo via Flickr (image credit: saintpo798)
It will affect you more than you realize
The thing about divorces is that many couples often end up thinking that they hate each other, but as time goes on after their divorce, they realize just how much they are in love with one another.
This is because the time apart has made them think about the reasons why they got together in the first place, and the subsequent reasons for their relationship malfunction. Many divorcees often end up resolving their differences and getting back together again, and whilst this is a good thing, it’s bad that they had to get divorced first before they found out what caused their marriage breakdown in the first place, costing them both a lot of time, heartache money in the process!
It will devastate your kids
I know that some people stay together “for the sake of the kids”, but ultimately you cannot sacrifice your happiness for your offspring. If one or both of you truly feel unhappy with your marriage, it would be more beneficial to see marriage counselling and to work on why things are going bad rather than admitting defeat and having to deal with the onset of a messy divorce.
Writing this blog post has actually made me recall my younger days, and how my parents had decided to get a divorce when I was around 10 years old.
My dad wasn’t really around much if I’m honest, and my mom seemed somewhat angry towards me as time went on – simply because I was the product of their union, and I was a “reminder” of her ex-husband, as she explained to me when I was old enough to “understand”.
Quite often when I was growing up, I used to envy my friends simply because they had two parents that were willing to share in their child’s life together.
Sadly, a lot of kids end up on the receiving end of divorces like that, when really their parents could have at least attempted to make an effort to work together in an effort to determine what the causes of their relationship breakdown were.
Divorces are expensive
Regardless of whether you get a divorce in Florida or in Ohio, one thing you will soon realize (perhaps to your horror), is that divorces are usually expensive!
In my experience, the only times a divorce is ever “cheap” is when both parties mutually agree to divorce, there are no children involved, and each party does not wish to stake a claim for the other person’s assets.
I’m recently married. Yay!
I would love to say the day went smoothly, without a single hiccup along the way. However, if I did say this I would be lying.
It was the happiest day of my life however, being the budding bride with so much to do and organise, a few things slipped through the net. I was too busy fantasising about tucking into the Fantasia Cakes I had ordered for the reception, that important things were pushed to the back of my priorities list! So, I’m sharing what I forgot to plan to help those you may forget themselves.
Here is what I forgot to plan:
Even though these aren’t technically ‘required’, they seem to be a mainstay of most weddings, certainly the ones I’ve been to. And yes, I forgot to even contemplate buying our guests a ‘thank you’ for coming gift.
If you’re thinking about buying wedding favors then you should do this about two months before your big day. There are lots of things to choose from, the most important part is that the wedding favour reflects you as a couple. You can even personalise most wedding favors by adding your names, your wedding date, or even the names of your guests.
I’m positive this item is overlooked on a regular basis, and it is not just me who has forgotten this. Don’t worry I still have plenty of memories, photographs and other items that help me remember my big day.
Normally signed by your guests during the reception, the Guestbook is normally filled with well wishes and tides of happiness. This really shouldn’t be overlooked. You can pick up a variety of different Guestbook styles from a number of retailers. I would recommend that you pick one of these up one month before your big day. Try and categories these items so it’s easy for you to remember.
Notice for Marriage
A slight oversight on my behalf, yet quite a significant one. If this isn’t done before your big day, you won’t be getting married. It is that simple.
A marriage notice, or licence, is available from your local council offices. It is a straight-forward process that every couple requires, by law, to go through before their big day. This Notice of Marriage lasts 12 months, so you have plenty of time to get this organised.
The Nights Entertainment
When I booked the evening reception at one of our local venues, I forgot to organise the entertainment. I thought I booked a DJ, I was wrong. Luckily some of our guests played guitar very well.
When booking any entertainment I recommend doing this at the same time as you book the venue, just so that part of your special day is booked together and goes off without a hitch.
Thank You Card
I am such a bad person. I completely forgot to send out Thank You card to our guests after our big day.
I would recommend buying these before, just so you have them and they are at the forefront of your mind when you come back off your honeymoon.
I am pleased to say that our guests have now received a Thank You card, even though it is a little belated.
I hope my experience can help you avoid some of these traumas.
The most important thing is that you enjoy your day, and the rest of your life together.
Buying presents for a man can sometimes be a rather difficult mission to accomplish! They either don’t give you any clues as to what they might want, or they keep buying all sorts of things for themselves all the time.
If you are finding yourself in this rather unfortunate position, here are 7 awesome gift ideas to help you choose the (hopefully) right gift for your other half!
Louis Vuitton Florin Wallet
One thing that virtually all guys have in their pockets is a wallet. But did you know that not many blokes have really awesome designer wallets, such as this Louis Vuitton Florin Wallet in Damier Graphite?
It’s not the cheapest wallet around, I’ll admit, but I think you will agree that it is certainly a very stylish one!
2. 3M Streaming Projector
If your partner has a “man cave” at home, and he is into gadgets and technology as well as being a bit of a film buff, one clever piece of portable gadgetry you could get him is the 3M Streaming Projector.
In a nutshell, it’s a device that lets you stream any online content (i.e. movies) anywhere you want.
3. Shinola Bixby Bicycle
I know you can buy any old bicycle for your partner, but if you want to buy him something special then you should consider getting him a men’s bicycle by Shinola, such as the Bixby. It features a 3-speed Shimano gear set, and is great for driving in both dry and wet conditions.
4. Apple iPad Air
One of the most popular tablets that you can buy your significant other is the Apple iPad Air. It is extremely lightweight, fully-featured and is available as either a WiFi-only or 4G-enabled tablet with a range of capacities from 16GB to 128GB.
They can run virtually the same apps that are available for iPhones and iPods, and work well together with those other Apple iOS devices too.
5. Supercar Experience Day
Is your partner an absolute petrolhead? If so, they will probably dream of owning a car such as a Porsche 911 or a Ferrari, and while this dream might only become reality if you both win the lottery, for example, you could still give them a taste of what it’s like to drive such a vehicle by buying them a supercar experience day gift!
6. Minelab X-TERRA 305
Every man’s childhood dream is to go out with a metal detector and search for treasure! Well, now you can make that dream a reality for your partner by getting them a Minelab X-TERRA 305 metal detector! It offers the best detection rates and might possibly make the man in your life rich…!
7. Samsung UE40F8000 LED 3D Smart TV
Let’s face it; most guys love to watch TV! But have you ever noticed how some TVs have a pretty mediocre picture and tinny sound quality in comparison to others? Well, if your guy’s TV is a bit like that, why not get them a super awesome Samsung UE40F8000 LED 3D smart TV?