Sometimes marriages and partnerships break down; this can be a difficult time for both of you and your children as well. You can both get so engrossed in the problems you are having that it can be easy to ignore and forget about how your children are feeling. If you are in a similar situation, here are a few tips for dealing with your children’s feelings during the tricky time of a separation or divorce.
Try Not to Put Them Between You
Many parents use their children as a messenger, especially if they are living apart. Although you might think there is no problem doing so, in fact, this type of communication via your children can have an impact on their feelings. They might have to say things to their parents that make them upset or anxious, and it also places a burden on them that they shouldn’t have to deal with at any age. To minimise any problems, you need to discuss things in private or via email. Things that involve the children can be discussed as a group with all of the family members there because this then gives them the opportunity to ask questions.
Understand Their Feelings About Both of You
Even though the two of you can no longer live together, your children will still love you equally. For that reason, you should try to understand that they might not share the feelings you might have for your partner. It can be easy to talk to your children about the separation and perhaps say negative things about your partner, but this can make your kids feel awkward and upset. You should also avoid taking your kids to the family solicitor London, so they don’t have to hear negative things about their parents. If you have feelings that you want to share, try talking to a therapist or someone you trust rather than talking to your children.
Take Time to Listen to Your Kids
A period like this in your children’s lives can cause a great amount of turmoil. They won’t always understand what’s happening, and they might form ideas that aren’t true. That is why it is vital that you are there for them and that they can ask you about what’s happening. Allow them to talk and to express how they feel, try not to dismiss their feelings, but also try to let them know that things will be ok. Both parents should do this in case one of your children want to confide on one of you and not the other.
Avoid Asking Too Many Questions
When your children spend time with the other parent, you should think of this time as visiting an aunt or uncle. You should ask them fun questions about their stay but try not to grill them or ask about what your partner did. It will make them feel uneasy and in an impossible position.
Separation is never easy, but if you can all try to be as open and approachable as possible, it will make it a lot easier for your kids.