As a parent, a divorce is probably one of the hardest things you’ll ever go through. Not only do you have to deal with your own feelings, you have to make sure your child is coping well too. However, by handling the situation correctly you should be able to make your child feel safe and secure. Millions of families have been what you’re going through and have survived, so follow our guide to get through it together:
Explaining The Situation to The Children
Sitting your children down and explaining what is going on to them is very important, especially if they are old enough to realise what is going on. Try to explain it to them together, even if it means you have to stop arguing and call a truce for a while. Depending on the age of your child, you’ll need to give more/less explanation and say things differently. A child of 5 is going to understand less than a child of 15! Make sure you agree on what to say with each other beforehand, don’t pass off any blame, and don’t contradict each other. Your child needs to know you’ll both be there for them as always.
Minimise the Tension
Providing your partner isn’t too angry, abusive, or violent, try to minimise the tension to avoid causing emotional difficulties. These difficulties could affect your child way past childhood, so don’t criticize your ex in front of them or make them take sides.
Make Sure they Know You Love Them
Both parents need to make the child know that they love them no matter what, and they’ll always be there for them. Show them they won’t be abandoned and that they are always loved with plenty of reassurance.
Stick With Their Routine
Make sure they stick with any current routines at school, after school activities, seeing friends, and seeing family on both sides. Life will change for them, but the more stable it is the better.
Don’t Go it Alone
Make sure you let teachers and carers about what is happening so they are understanding of your child’s behaviour and can provide support where possible. You may also need to contact a company such as this immigration and family law solicitors based in Manchester to sort out any issues.
Your child needs to know that it’s ok to discuss things with you. Their feelings and opinions are important, so be honest and open with them. Try to answer any questions they have truthfully in a way they’ll understand.
See It From Your Child’s Point of View
Your child won’t have the same concerns as you – they might simply be worried about pocket money, birthday parties, and other things that children worry about.
Protect Them from Adult Worries
Bear in mind that there’s no way your child can understand what you’re going through. To your child, saying sorry could work and they probably won’t be able to process why it hasn’t. Try to protect them from your worries, and confide in an adult rather than your children on your worst days.
You and your child/children will get through this, it will just take time, patience, and honesty from both/all of you. Stick together, get support, and you’ll be just fine!
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