We’ve talked before about video games and your childrens’ development. Today we’re going to talk about movies…more specifically, those big budget, action oriented, superhero movies that have been so popular for the last few years.

Kid Friendly?

One thing that has been so great about the recent uptick in superhero fandoms is how many of them take pains to create kid friendly versions of these heroes and their storylines. Many of the franchises gracing the silver screens today have older cartoon and animated shows that appeal to younger viewers. There are also kid-friendly books out there. Many parents use these books to help get their more screen oriented children interested in reading.

The problem is that there aren’t a lot of middle-grade crossovers. There are books and games and cartoons for the very young kids but there isn’t much out there for the older kids who aren’t yet able to get into these PG-13s on their own. What do you do about them? Should you, for example, allow your third or fourth grader to watch the Iron Man trilogy? There are so many adult themes in there (alcoholism, warfare and even promiscuity! That Tony Stark really gets around)!

This is largely a judgment call. You know your kids and what they can handle best–even better than they do at this age. If you think they can handle what happens on screen in a healthy way, then by all means, have fun with your kids at the movies this summer. If you’re not sure, here are some things that you should consider before you pony up the cash for tickets and snacks.

Violence

One of the hardest things to gauge with these epic superhero movies is the violence in them. This is because usually our heroes are battling bigger than life bad guys. We are taught throughout the whole movie not to empathize with the bad guys or the armies they command. Even so, these movies often show a large amount of collateral violence that nobody seems to mind or even notice. For example, in the first Avengers movie, Manhattan is essentially levelled, resulting in the loss of what must be thousands of lives and nobody blinks. How do you usually address this with your kids? You don’t want to gloss over it like the movie does but you don’t want to scare your kids either.

Sexuality

Most of the “good guys” in superhero movies are sex positive people. Tony Stark is downright slutty in the first movie. Seeing people sleep around isn’t the huge deal that it used to be but it might lead to some difficult questions from your kids. More problematic is the use of sex as a manipulative tool. It is a common trope for the prettiest female character to don sexy clothing and use her “feminine wiles” to excite their male targets as a means of exploiting them. This is harder to explain and not something most parents will want their children to internalize as acceptable behavior.

Language

One of the best things about superhero movies is that they are usually PG-13, which means they are limited to a single eff-bomb and the language is usually relatively benign as far as swearing goes. The larger issue is how the characters banter and the conversations they have. Many of these movies have undercurrents of homophobia, sexism and even racism. This doesn’t mean the movies can’t still be fun, but you probably don’t want your kids repeating a lot of what they hear over the course of one of these movies.

So what do you do? Your kids have probably already seen the trailer for Avengers: Age of Ultron and gotten excited about it. Do you take them to see it? How do you figure that out?

The best way to decide whether or not you should let your kids see a movie is to see the movie yourself first. You are the best judge of what your kids can and cannot handle. Seeing the movie yourself is the best way to gauge that.

Another good way, especially if your budget is limited, is to ask friends who know you and your kids what they have thought of the movie. They will be able to help you figure out what you (and your kids) will likely think of the movie when/if you attend.

Finally remember: a healthy conversation before and after the movie is always a good idea. It’s a great time to remind your kids that these movies are fictional and there aren’t big bad aliens waiting to take over their planet. It’s also a great way to talk calmly about any problematic moments in the film that raised your eyebrows.

There is no hard or fast rule about whether or not children of certain ages should see certain movies. You know your kids. You know what’s best. Trust your instincts!