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Going through a divorce is already a tough affair and it only gets worse if children are involved. Fighting a child custody battle is never easy. There are tips you can use to make sure it goes smoothly but the first hurdle is finding the best lawyer to represent you. According to the Wilmington Family Law Attorneys, this is “someone you can trust to guide you through your divorce and protect what is most important to you.” It can be quite a challenge to find someone who fits this criteria.
There are general guidelines for when you want to hire a lawyer but it gets even more complex when it’s a child custody lawyer you need. Keep in mind that hiring the right lawyer will definitely increase your chances of getting custody of your child, which is, after all the most important thing.
Get Special Help
You should seek out a specialist. Instead of looking for general lawyer listings, find someone who is listed under family law or child custody battles. You can always ask around because word of mouth is an effective tool in cases like these. Feel free to visit different firms and find out how various lawyers operate. Read up on older cases they have tackled and see if any of those make sense to, or are close to your personal case.
Set Up Meetings
You should never take a lawyer on board unless you have met with quite a few of them face to face. Feel free to set up meetings with the lawyers you have shortlisted. Don’t be afraid to interview them all one by one and ask pertinent questions that will be relevant to your case down the road. Some lawyers will try to talk down to you or throw complex jargon your way. When you meet different lawyers, you’ll be able to figure out who you get along with best.
Anything is up for negotiation if you try hard enough. There is no reason why you should go bankrupt while trying to pay the lawyer’s fees. Speak to the lawyer about how they structure their fees and whether you can pay with some sort of plan or flexible breakdown. If the lawyer continually asks for a flat fee and this is something you can’t afford, don’t sweat it. You can always find a different lawyer who will be more accommodating to your needs.
Make A Decision
In the end, make up your mind. However, before you make the final call, review your notes again, look at the research and fee structure for each lawyer, and then decide. The lawyer you choose will be with you for the duration of the child custody battle and you want someone reliable by your side. Child custody battles can be extremely unpleasant and stressful for everyone involved. Make sure you have someone by your side who can handle the heat and can also keep you calm in the courtroom. A calm demeanour and knowledgable attitude is what will win you the case!
Nobody gets married with the intention of splitting from their partner a few years later and getting involved with a messy child custody battle, but unfortunately, this happens quite a lot in the modern world, and so you need to be as prepared as possible for any eventuality. I recently went through something like this, and although it was stressful and upsetting, with the right advice from my lawyer, I managed to pull through. With that in mind, today I’m going to relay some handy tips that could make the process a little more bearable for all involved. Of course, your partner may act incredibly unreasonably in this situation, but that doesn’t mean you have to bring yourself down to their level.
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At the end of the day, you want to get through this is the quickest time possible to avoid it having adverse effects on your children. I can tell you from personal experience that family breakups can have a massively negative impact on your child’s mental health, and it’s not always obvious until they’re a little older. Indeed, my own parents split when I was four years old, and it took me until the age of around 22 to completely recover from it. That might sound extreme, but it’s the god’s honest truth.
So, take a read through some of my tips, and hopefully you’ll limit the chances of this happening to your kids…
Tip #1: Always Remain Calm
Situations will almost certainly become heated quickly during a child custody battle, but you need to remain calm and rational at all times. This is the best way to show the authorities that you are the best parent for the job.
Tip #2: Never Lie In Court
You might be tempted to tell a couple of small lies in court, but this should be avoided like the plague. Any lawyer with the same level of experience as Attorney Mark Goldstein will tell you that getting busted for one lie means your entire case falls apart.
Tip #3: Think About The Child
Child custody battles happen because two parents each believes they’re better for the child concerned. Even so, don’t try to get residency for your kids if you know in the back of your mind that your ex partner would do a better job.
Tip #4: Be Patient
Divorces can take a long time to come through, and child custody cases aren’t that different. Your son or daughter will have to speak with social services representatives to help determine their happiness levels, and you’ll have to jump through a lot of hoops. This is just something you have to accept.
Tip #5: Don’t Be Vindictive
In situations where a couple co-owned a property, it’s usually the partner who keeps it that gets custody of the child. However, as I’m sure all the rational people reading this article understand, that is not a good enough reason to fight for a child you’re unable to look after properly.
Well, hopefully know you’ll be a little better prepared should anything go wrong in the future. None of us like to imagine things like this happening, but they do, and so we shouldn’t avoid the issue.
Follow my advice, and everything should go smoothly.
Sometimes marriages and partnerships break down; this can be a difficult time for both of you and your children as well. You can both get so engrossed in the problems you are having that it can be easy to ignore and forget about how your children are feeling. If you are in a similar situation, here are a few tips for dealing with your children’s feelings during the tricky time of a separation or divorce.
Try Not to Put Them Between You
Many parents use their children as a messenger, especially if they are living apart. Although you might think there is no problem doing so, in fact, this type of communication via your children can have an impact on their feelings. They might have to say things to their parents that make them upset or anxious, and it also places a burden on them that they shouldn’t have to deal with at any age. To minimise any problems, you need to discuss things in private or via email. Things that involve the children can be discussed as a group with all of the family members there because this then gives them the opportunity to ask questions.
Understand Their Feelings About Both of You
Even though the two of you can no longer live together, your children will still love you equally. For that reason, you should try to understand that they might not share the feelings you might have for your partner. It can be easy to talk to your children about the separation and perhaps say negative things about your partner, but this can make your kids feel awkward and upset. You should also avoid taking your kids to the family solicitor London, so they don’t have to hear negative things about their parents. If you have feelings that you want to share, try talking to a therapist or someone you trust rather than talking to your children.
Take Time to Listen to Your Kids
A period like this in your children’s lives can cause a great amount of turmoil. They won’t always understand what’s happening, and they might form ideas that aren’t true. That is why it is vital that you are there for them and that they can ask you about what’s happening. Allow them to talk and to express how they feel, try not to dismiss their feelings, but also try to let them know that things will be ok. Both parents should do this in case one of your children want to confide on one of you and not the other.
Avoid Asking Too Many Questions
When your children spend time with the other parent, you should think of this time as visiting an aunt or uncle. You should ask them fun questions about their stay but try not to grill them or ask about what your partner did. It will make them feel uneasy and in an impossible position.
Separation is never easy, but if you can all try to be as open and approachable as possible, it will make it a lot easier for your kids.
When two people dissolve a marriage, tensions run high. If there are children involved, it can be even more emotional while debating child custody, child support, and visitation schedules. It’s better for you and the other parent to work out your own agreement about your children together, because if you cannot come to terms, it will be the judge who makes the arrangements. Having a family court attorney on your side provides many benefits for you and your children.
Allows You to Remain Focused on Your Goals
If you are in negotiations with your spouse over certain aspects of custody and visitation, you want an advocate who can help you stay focused on your objectives. You need someone to be your voice of reason and help you know when to give a little or when to stand firm. Having a lawyer who is not emotionally attached to your situation maintains your equilibrium during a stressful time
There are many myths that surround child custody and support. Your attorney dispels the myths and provides the truth so that you are more prepared when you get to court. This reduces your stress and anxiety about the circumstances that you find yourself facing. Even if you’re trying to be professional and cooperative with the other parent, it still can be very frightening and difficult to deal with this issue
Custodial Issues That Arise After Your Settlement
Child custody laws are different in each state. When you have a family court attorney of your own, you can ask for advice before making changes to your child’s situation. This keeps you out of trouble with the other parent and the law. Instead of getting advice from your hairstylist or your accountant, you need someone who knows what your rights and responsibilities are under the legal statutes of your state and your own divorce decree.
Maintain the Best Interests of Your Child
When determining custody, you may want to parade all of your spouse’s dirty laundry through the court to show that you are the better parent. This could backfire on you. Your attorney can be your voice of reason here, helping you sort out what the court will actually consider. Courts want children to maintain contact with both parents, if at all possible. If you appear combatant, a judge could decide that you may drive a wedge between the child and other parent. Your lawyer will present the case more objectively and logically, which won’t undermine the best interests of the child.
Finding Unique Solutions
Today’s families are much different than those from thirty years ago. The nuclear family of two parents, two kids, where the mom stayed at home and the dad earned the money is probably not your situation. In these times, both parents work. There may be multiple layers of grandparents, step-parents, and step-grandparents who want to maintain involvement with the children. The complexities of your family need to be accounted for when determining visitation, support, and custody.
With your attorney, you can explore different ideas to make co-parenting work for you. When you have a lawyer who understands the law and can also be creative about how you manage the custody arrangement, it’s possible to work out a plan that will be appropriate for your child and both parents. Your attorney has more experience in handling different situations, enabling you to find something that keeps the child safe and connected with the people who need to be connected to them. Your lawyer is the best advocate that you will have throughout the process.
Cohabitation in general is becoming a more popular life choice instead of getting married. That’s because many people see marriage as just a bit of paper and that their love and relationship shouldn’t be defined as such. However, there are some serious ramifications of choosing to cohabitate instead of marriage. These downsides can still have an impact even if you ever decide to get married. So, before you decide to just cohabitate as a couple, take a look at some of these downsides and consider the benefits of being married.
It is a good idea to make sure you have a thorough cohabitation agreement in place when you decide to live together. However, it’s worth noting that even if you do have a good one, it may have limited value and will only be considered as a wish list, not what will actually happen.
Take as an example, if you have children together. It is best that the cohabitation agreement outlines the way you want your kids to be brought up and how they will be supported financially. It doesn’t necessarily mean it will be taken into consideration, though. If problems arise and you split, for instance, and have a custody battle about the children and who is legally supposed to pay what amount for child support, how much visitation rights do you get and most crucially, who actually gets custody.
As family law judges will be involved in the case, they need to think about the child’s best interests. If the cohabitation agreement contradicts or conflicts in any way with their best interests, the courts will be within their rights to make the final decision about what happens to your children, regardless of what is stated in your cohabitation agreement.
When a couple has children, in the majority of states, during marriage, they are considered to be the legal offspring of that couple. However, if a couple has children outside of marriage, when they are merely cohabitating, it is not as straight forward. In order to establish the child’s legal paternity, and your legal responsibilities and rights, you need to take various extra steps, including court hearings and blood tests.
Another problem that comes from cohabitation over marriage is that there is more involved in making sure your partner gets your estate if you die. It automatically passes from you to your partner, if you are married, in the event of your death. If you aren’t married, though, it normally goes to the next of kin. Therefore, without having a valid will in place that identifies your partner as your beneficiary, someone you may not want to have your property after your gone, may get it by default.
As well as leaving your partner financially short, this can also cause all kinds of rifts and unpleasantness between family members once you’ve gone.
Cohabitation Before Marriage
There are even problems that can arise if you cohabitate first and then decide to get married at a later time. For instance, a state’s divorce and marriage laws only apply from the date you tied the knot, not how long you’ve been living together.
Although there is more to marriage and living together than the financial and legal side of things, they are worth considering.